My 4th semester consisted of a string of bad life choices.
I tried hard to keep sane from the internal struggle of accepting the reality and holding on to the lies I made myself believe for years.
There were days when I’d walk for hours because it made me feel at peace, focusing all my mental energy into walking without any regard where I was going. The farthest I’ve walked was probably from UPLB to Calamba Proper, and I did it for 4 fours with no rest.
I couldn’t take it anymore, so I had to tell my parents.
They were shocked. They had no idea. They didn’t know what to make of it.
I ran away from home and went into hiding. My mother looked for me, and she found me, hiding behind a door in an apartment somewhere in Pansol. She was calm. She told me to pack my things because we were going on a vacation. That I needed rest, far from home. We took a bus to Catanduanes, where she left me with my paternal grandparents.
She’d send me weekly allowance, and I’d spend my days by the beach, thinking about life and what was waiting for me when I return to Manila.
I went home after 2 months.
I dropped out of school and decided to help out with our expenses. My parents helped me recover my health – physically and mentally. They made sure I knew how much I’m loved and that I need not run away from home again.
I started to rebuild my life, but it wasn’t as smooth as I thought it would be.