So kahit #1 ka..

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Akala ko dati, mahirap ma-stuck sa #2.
Pero mas mahirap pala maging #1, pero pinapaasa ka pa din.


Epekto ng sipon, lagnat at client visit. Lol 😂

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Dear Old Love

We’re ten years apart, but age was just a number for us.

You knew me like the back of your hand.
How I turned into a chatterbox when I was with you.
How I always fell silent when I was upset.
How I tried hard to keep it in so I wouldn’t say something I’d regret.
How we’d hug it out after our silence because some things were better left unsaid.

You understood me more than I did myself.

But I walked away.

We broke up over the phone because I knew I’d change my mind if I saw you. I refused to meet you because I knew I’d come running back to your arms.

I cried on the bus, and cried some more when I came home.

The days that followed were as empty as I felt inside.

Work, home, repeat.

I dated to forget.

And I did.

Time really heals all wounds.

But on some nights, I find myself looking up your name and staring at it more than I should, mentally debating with myself whether to call you or not.

I miss you.

You were my mentor, my bestfriend and my cheerleader. You were my number one supporter.

You were everything I had when I had nothing.

And I was everything you got when your world started to fall apart, but unlike you, I turned my back on you.

I’m sorry I broke your heart. I’m sorry I broke you.

I should’ve tried harder for both of us, but I chose to give you up. I was a fool for believing I wanted more. I didn’t want more, I just failed to see you were enough.

..

It’s like what they always say: what goes around, comes around.

Of Trauma and Nightmares

“I now know, you must endure things you cannot endure, be worn out by the things you cannot accept, that there are nights when your eyes are brimming with tears. And daresay I know.. what you’ve dreamt of, and what you’ve lost.”

-정희재 [어쩌면 내가가장 듣고 싶었던 말]

On those nights,
you calmed me down.

You held me in your arms
in complete silence,
lamenting those memories —
my tragedy —
with me.

You understood my grief.
You knew my struggles.

While I saw myself
as piece of flesh,
you saw me as
a person worthy
to be loved,
to be respected.

While I deluded myself
into thinking
I could hide
behind a veil,
you exposed me.

You laid my soul bare.
You set my soul free.

Watch List: 2017 Q2 K-Drama

I’m finally getting back together with my first love.

Fourteen years of K-drama fangirl-ing!~

How I missed you. 

  1. Fight My Way (Episode 2)
  2. Circle (Episode 2)
  3. Lookout (Episode 4)
  4. Suspicious Partner (Episode 12)
  5. Tunnel
  6. Ruler – Master of the Mask
  7. Super Family 2017
  8. Chicago Typewriter (Episode 13)
  9. Drinking Solo
  10. Man to Man

WHAT IS SLEEP, HAHAHAHA.

I don’t know you, and I don’t want and/or need to talk to you.

Too many unregistered numbers have been calling  and texting recently. Lol.
Unfortunately for these people, I don’t answer calls and texts from unknown numbers. They’re automatically blocked.

I don’t give out my number to just anyone, either.
Only those who I met in person and are in good terms with me have my number.

So if you’re calling and I’m not picking up, I hope you get the hint.
If not (because you’re too dense/dumb), then here’s your explanation.

To you who need to start believing in himself

“You’re good for nothing,” they repeatedly said.
And so you grew up believing you wouldn’t amount to anything.

They thought you were always talking back.
They didn’t know you were trying to reason out with their own logic.

They thought you were just fooling around.
They didn’t know they were the reason you didn’t try hard.

They failed to see the expanse of the universe in your mind.
They failed to see the depth of your own understanding of the world you grew up in.

My love, open your eyes to your own possibilities.
Life clipped your wings once — do not let it happen twice.
Soar with your dreams and see the world from above.

Do not let anyone dictate what lies ahead.
Do not let their own fear be your own.

There will be a lot of naysayers —
even those who tell you they love you will try to put you down.

Be with people who see how far you’ll reach.
Be with people who believe how much potential you have.

Persist and don’t ever quit.

Your future lies in your hands.
Be firm with your goals and see yourself where you wanted to be.

I write because [we] exist.

I wield words for a living, but you disarm me with your stare. You make me speechless. You make me feel defenseless. You make me feel vulnerable and weak.

You took my heart with you that fateful day. Sure, I had to fight for yours for a while because it wasn’t where I wanted it to be. It wasn’t easy, but here we are now – side by side, doing everything in our power to stay together.

We have things and people to take care of, but everytime we meet, all our worries and responsibilities fade into the music of own laughter and stories. They keep tearing us apart, so we keep building a world of our own, always stronger than before.

But babe, everytime we say goodbye, my heart breaks a little. We look back as many times as we can until we’re both out of sight. We wish time would stand still because we just can’t get enough. We crave more as we stay longer, but knowing we’ll always be around, we let go. We wait. We patiently wait.

My love, know that you have me. I am yours, and no one can change that except for the one who owns my heart – you.

I love you, babe.
Since then.
Until now.
For as long as I can.

I love you.

​”I’m going to tell you that I love you. I’m going to figure out how. It’s not that it’s a crazy thing to say — of all the words ever spoken in all the languages in the world, it’s got to be the most common three words ever said in that combination. How hard can it be, if so many people have said it before, and if so many people will say it after? To husbands and wives and friends and fathers and mothers and children and you — lovers.

But maybe that’s why it’s hard, you know? Because I really want it to mean something. I need it to mean something. I need to convey what I mean when I say it and there are no other words for it that I can find so I just have to tell you, but I need you to know I mean it.

I need you to know I’m not just saying it the way other people have said it — halfheartedly and too often — and that what I mean is and isn’t what other people mean when they say “I love you.” Because I love you for loving me — or at least I hope you love me, or could learn to love me, or are beginning to love me. And I love you for all the ways you are yourself, for just being you, which, yes, sounds like the most trite way to say why you love someone, but maybe, if all the yous of the world are just different enough, the meaning changes just that much as the phrase jumps from lip to lip, relationship to relationship, I to love to you.

I’m going to tell you I love you.”

– Ella Ceron