#ATM: August 2016

  • Had occasional abdominal pain due to ulcer. Nothing new.

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  • Took Korean classes in Berlitz. The lessons are quite easy, I just need to practice speaking Korean more confidently. (I also met my classmate from Basic Korean way back 2013. What a small world.)
  • Spent most of my weekend mornings either studying Korean or preparing lessons for my students.
  • Continued teaching English in my free time.
  • Started teaching Korean, too.
  • Braved rainy and sunny days. For the love of money. Lol
  • Became a certified member of #TitasOfManila.

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  • Made someone’s day by giving her a book she was trying to collect. #nerdysquad

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  • Enjoyed Papa’s #sundayspecial again after a couple of weeks.

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  • Joined our team lunch.
  • Went to Quiapo, Manila for the first time.

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  • Finally used the calendar one of my former Korean managers gave me. (And he actually marked his birth date so I won’t forget. Hahaha)

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  • Gave away brownies at work for good vibes.

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  • Spent time with the only person I can call during wee hours, especially when I feel unsafe while commuting to work.

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  • Found my new favorite tambayan.
  • Had dinner with my siblings.
  • Had dinner with my family.
  • Admired my parents for being a #relationshipgoal — 28 years of being together, and they still look like a pair of giddy teenagers.

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  • Wondered how spoiled my parents’ future grandchildren would be if this is how they spoil our dog, Blue.
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Found this while looking for food. Pure beef burger patties, only for Blue. #spoiledbitch

  • Still ecstatic about my admission to UP Open University.

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  • Grateful to all those who looked out for me, especially during one of my lowest points. I’m just glad to have met true friends who will always be on my side and are thoughtful enough to take care of me when I’m too busy/sick.

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  • Password-protected my rant posts because I just can’t deal with all the negativity any longer. You know who you are, and you know what you did. Losing you is the best decision I made this year — good riddance. And to your partner who keeps stalking me, please get a life. You reek of insecurities. Spreading word about my blog just proves your incompetence. My last words to both of you? Stay out of my life.
  • Stayed positive (and unbelievably pretty, lol) amidst stress and issues.

#ATM: July 2016


This month was an emotional roller coaster ride I wanted to get out of badly. I was sick and depressed and suicidal – but I survived, thanks to those who sincerely care for me. I am lucky and blessed with people who are willing to share my pain.

To those who stuck around even when I was at my worst, thank you.


  • First half of July: I couldn’t eat for a week – I tried but I always ended up throwing up everything. I was so stressed and depressed that I spent that week just sleeping and going to work. I was diagnosed with ulcer and dehydration.

No matter how much make up I put on, I still looked pale and sick. I stopped putting on lipstick because I kept washing it off after throwing up.

  • Graduated from our 3-month company training. BEST WAVE EVER.
  • Random things that made me happy:
  • Someone sent me these photos while shopping around and I was surprised at how much weight I’ve lost within a month.
  • Cut my hair short to remove excess baggage. Lol.

  • Spent time with a handful of people close to my heart.
  • Spent a lot of time alone, too.
  • Went on a walkathon around BGC.
  • Ended the month by going on a quick trip to Tagaytay for a few kilos of beef, a bowl of bulalo, a plate of fried tawilis, a cup of kapeng barako, and a dose of wanderlust chikahan with the elders.
  • And the best part of this month — I GOT INTO UP OPEN UNIVERSITY! I’ve waited 7 years to finally go back to college and finally, I did it! One goal down, many more to go!

#ATM: June 2016

  • Attended a family reunion.
  • Enjoyed peaceful afternoons at my favorite cafes and fast food chains.
  • #butches Korean lunch out.
  • Perpetually bugged by this furry creature.
  • Obsessed over this.

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  • Learned about the African-American history.
  • Ate a lot of ice cream to counter bouts of depression, hence, the persistent colds.
  • Got close to this amazing person. #sistah #pak #ganern

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  • Stayed at my company to save time (and get more sleep).

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  • Found a sister from another mother. #butch
  • Taught someone basic Korean.

  • Joined the team building in Nasugbu, Batangas. Best weekend so far.
  • Best seatmate/partner ever! I learned a lot of “galawang tenured” from this guy. (To my mentors/TC/trainer, if you’re reading this, you know who to blame. Lol.)
  • Most embarrassing moment. EVER. (And all the guys – trainer included! – were in on this. Juicecolored.)

  • More random stuff.

#ATM: May 2016

  • Voted for the 2016 National Elections.

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  • Celebrated Blue’s first birthday.

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  • Went back to the gym.
  • Training with the best wave ever.
  • Spent a lot of time with Blue.
  • Spent time with P.
  • Lectured a few about Martial Law.
  • First time to work on a night shift.
  • First time to take in live calls at work.
  • Got my passport.
  • Finished a book.

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  • Annoyed this student a lot.

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  • Studied harder.

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  • Found my brother from another mother.

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  • Papa started the “Sunday Habit” again.

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  • Took a lot of selfies.

#ATM: April 2016

  • Spent the first two weeks studying for TOPIK.
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Burning the midnight oil. #burnbabyburn #burnforyou

  • Ran like crazy too.

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  • Lost some weight.
  • Got hired by a BPO ITO company and started training right after TOPIK.

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  • Donated blood for the first time.

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  • Walked around Bonifacio Global City and took pictures just so I could practice my photography skills (not to mention, relieve my stress from TOPIK).
  • Followed the news about the 2016 election and had numerous discussions with friends about politics, history, candidates and current affairs.
  • Went on a trip to Majayjay with my family.
  • Survived the summer heat.
  • Random moments at work.
  • Lucky died.

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  • Finished a book.

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  • Bought a new notebook.

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  • Took a lot of selfies. just because.
  • Studied hard because everything was just so unfamiliar.

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#ATM: March 2016

  • Went to work without any make-up for 3 weeks. I just felt too lazy going to work at 2PM and conducting my first class at 6:35PM.
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Before.

 

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After.

  • Quit working as an English teacher a week ago. I didn’t even regret it.. which makes me question myself if I made the right decision to pursue Education Studies. Hmm.
  • Still studying Korean. Less than a month away from my TOPIK test and I’m still not confident that I’ll be able to pass it.
  • Watched 3 Oscar-nominated movies: Spotlight, The Big Short, and Truth.
  • Blue participated in Anti-Rabies Awareness Month Kick-off Activities.
  • Charlie died.

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  • Went out drinking with a few Korean friends (can’t upload our photos, though). Ended up doing language exchange with one of them, but sadly, it didn’t work out.

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  • Spent time with P and V.
  • Random things that made me happy:
  • Spent most of my free time hanging out in coffee shops.
  • Started a blog post series called “Ten Word Stories”.
  • Been sleeping for more than 8 hours and eating less. Losing weight without even exercising.

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  • I feel like everything’s for naught – I have zero motivation to do anything. Whatever I do, it just doesn’t work out the way I want it to. I feel like a failure. More than that, I feel alone even in the presence of my family and friends. I can’t tell them my worries because I’m afraid they might judge me. I resorted to talking to strangers and old acquaintances because I didn’t feel any need to impress them. It felt good unloading emotional burden, but it wasn’t enough. I still feel empty. I don’t know what exactly I am looking for, but I don’t think I’m gonna find it any time soon.

#ATM: February 2016

  • Remembered Lola Maria.

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  • Learned about existentialism.

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  • Got encouragement from TL Arden.

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  • Enjoyed Papa’s Sunday special.

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  • Spent time with Team Arden.
  • Completed my UP Open University application requirements. Excited to go back to studying.

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  • Went on a walkathon around UPLB.
  • Attended this year’s UPLB Feb Fair. Glad to see my sorority sisters and fraternity brothers after almost five years.

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  • Went on a walkathon around UP Diliman, too.
  • Quit jogging for a week. My eyes became dry and itchy from severe lack of enough (quality) sleep. I feel heavier by the day.. and I miss waking up early to see the sunrise.

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  • Spent time with people who matter.
  • Went on a date with myself.
  • Spent a lot of time with my dog, Blue.
  • Adopted another dog, Charlie. He’s malnourished and poorly groomed, but I hope he’ll get better in a few months’ time.

 

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  • Visited by Kuya’s dog, Bart.
  • Got a new phone and it’s making me narcissistic.
  • Submitted my resignation. I want to quit teaching until I get my diploma in Education Studies.
  • Still studying Korean. Doing well in reading, but sucks at listening. Level 1 seems attainable, but I still want to go for Level 2.
  • Added more goals for this year. My mom thinks I’m biting off more than I can chew, but I’m gonna stick to my plans.
  • I’ve become more cynical – can’t even trust myself.

#ATM: January 2016

  • Back to studying Korean. I had to re-learn everything. TOPIK on April 17th. Hoping for at least Level 1 (I’m being realistic).
  • Jogging! I have a huge blister on my right foot because I usually run-walk for 2 hours — straight. I kid you not.
  • Keeping matters of the heart to myself. Period.
  • Back to blogging. I trashed all previous posts because I want to start anew. What a waste, but I want a clean slate.
  • Still setting goals for 2016. I’m taking baby steps – I don’t want to waste another year by starting big and quitting in the middle.
  • Less time on Facebook and focusing on making memories with people who matter.